I had been feeling de-spirited for a few weeks and realised i was disconected from the spirit world my teachers and the earth so i knew in my heart and soul that i neeeded to shamanize .......the following is taken directly from my journal .
I walked to a local woodlandnot far from where i live ,once in the woods i slowed down the pace of my walk to a much slower pace and allowed my intuition to guide me to a suitable place too shamanize .
After a while of this slow gentle pace wading through brambles listening to the woodland bird-songs, letting the sunshine that penatrated the canopy warm my soul i felt i had found the right spot or perhaps it had found me , a small clearing the woodland floor covered in beech mast .
spreading out a blanket and my meditation cushion unpacking my drum i sat there for sometime ,allowing myself to just be letting go breathing with the woodland ,"yes"i said inside, this is the place i need to be ,it just felt "right".
After about a half an hour of sitting and breathing and letting go i felt i was ready to begin shamanizing , having lit some insence i took up my drum and began drumming only to discover the moisture present in the woodland atmosehphere was making the drum skin really quite slack with little or no resonance ,i had an idea if i moved to where there were shafts of sunlight was penatrating the woodland canopy i could warm up the drum skin............it worked .....shamanizing commenced.
I began drumming and praying (throat singing) to father sky , mother earth the elements ,each time facing the coresponding cardinal direction all the while asking for my fragmented soul/spirit to be healed& restored.
calling out for Nungklar's help support {usually i am required to travel to Nungklars home in the otherworld too meet with him ,what followed was unusual )
Almost immediately Nungklar was floating gracefully down to the woodland floor in front of me ...........he appeared in full shamanic garb ,his long white beard flowing in the breeze ,his eyes werent visible as his headress covered them .
He smiled in greeting and took my spirit body by the forearms and gently motioned for me to kneel ,i felt my spirit body slump to its knees .then Nungklar inhaled deeply and cupped his right hand forming a tube shape ,he placed his right hand still curled into a tube shape on my forehead(fontanelle area) and blew energy into my spirit bodys head ,he then inhaled deeply again and repeated the procedure this time over my heart chakra ,Nungklar then showed me how to use certain symbol too seal the energy in ,by placing his hands either side of my chest one over the front of my heart , his other hand located at the back , as he performed this action i could see the deighn of this symbol (i was told later that no one should know what this symbol looks like ,which is why i have ommitted the description of the symbol /seal from this account ) intuitivly i felt it was right to place the drum over my chest as i continued drumming .
As i continued to drum Nungklar was still facing me cocking his head on one side he looked straight through me ....he put his hand on my stomach and then pushed straight in ....rummaged around inside my spirit body ,grappled with something and pulled out what can only be described as "a long bloody worm ".
Nungklar told me it was a manifestation of doubt and fear that had been feeding on my spirit ,life force otherwise known as windhorse , he then placed the worm into a fire that had suddenly materialised at his side .
Nungklar then told me that i should never allow it to take root ever again ,i said thankyou and that i wouldnt ,then Nungklar just simply gracefully rose up into the heavens and was gone .
Drumming faster and faster then ceasing i returned to normal reality and slowly i began to take on board what had occured ..
After a while i wondered what time (normal human wristwatch time) it was and looked at my phone ,there was a text from a good friend Jean ,she was asking me how i was as i had shared with her the day previously how i had been feeling . i sent her text telling her i had been shamanizing in the woods and was feeling much better for it ,jean mentioned that she was ment to be revising (jean is a psychiatric nurse who is now a manager)but felt to unwell too revise and could i do a dance for her .. i replied i would do it now for her ,putting the phone down ,and placing my hands on the earth first ,am really not keen on the way mobile phones feel ,i got up ,and picking up my drum
i began drumming, immediatly i could feel myself shifting back into trance .As the sun shone down upon my closed eyelids......throat singing a prayer for Jean too recieve power/healing from each of the elements .i felt my spirit body rise up and soar above the tree canopy ,looking around i could see flocks of birds and too many dragonflies too count ,the birds and dragonflies began to circle around and above me they then took off, in a southerly direction (in hindsight i realised this was the direction Jean lived in )i flew with them and was soon in Jeans home and watched as they circled above Jean as she lay on her couch ,as this happend i could see jeans lightbody glowing and getting stronger ,then i saw Jean climbing into her bath i had a sense this would be healing to her ,i thanked the spirits for there assistance and returned to my physical body .once back to ordinary reallty i conveyed what had happened to Jean .jean thanked me .
what i realised directly after this had taken place ,was this ...........as soon as i had been assissted in my own healing by Nungklar i was required to facilitate/help in Jeans healing ,its as if i was being given the opertunity to A.respond to anothers need for healing without feeling doubt of my ability.B i had been helped supported healed and now i was ready to help others "shamanically "and that it was my time to give help too others ..........................it has been said by many shamanic teachers that when we have been healed ourselves we are ready to assist /facilitate in others healing on this earthly plane and others .
shamanism isnt about attending workshops ,reading books and" thinking" this makes you a shaman ,this is a falsehood ,shamanism is a path that is experiential,it requires diligence, ability to respond too our calling .......shamans are born not made ,its not about making money through shamanism ,its a vocation for service to spirit through spirit too the mother earth our home ,too beings of many different dimensions ,its about being authentic ,its about being awake ,.....enlightend .....illuminated , seeing the shadow of ourselves and others recognising our wounds living with them healing them ,then if its our calling if its spirits the "Divine's" will then we are shown how we can serve .shamanism isnt an "ego trip" trance it is an ancient divine/sacred technology that is beyond time and culture ,it dismembers anysense of falsehood/illusion ....delusional self belief including false ego and is not a path for the faint hearted .shamanism is not a new age fad ,you cannot go on a weekend course and call your self a master (sorry slight dig at rieki masters ) having been on this path for twelve years now ......im not a master ,still a fledgeling .................... ...........................................may you receive many blessings
james harold bardwell
